Coming from an Indian background where girls are married off
at quite an early age it is evident that I have my own share of thoughts or
views on various issues.
Today I would majorly concentrate on the most Important and
prominent topic “How it feels to be a girl”
I would be dishonest if I said I haven’t had a satisfactory life
or haven’t enjoyed it to the fullest. Thanks to my Dad who had his firm belief
in me & bestowed upon me with all that I wanted or ever asked for.
However there are times in my life when I wish I had more
liberty, to discover the world, move out & craft a whole new identity for
myself.
Growing up, I came faced numerous hurdles, sometimes when I
made key decisions of my life. People tried to bring be down, tried to demoralize
me but I didn’t give up. I had chosen a path & I made sure I walk the path
to achieve the goals I envisioned.
When I graduated from college and was preparing for my MBA
entrance exams, I had a relative come over to my house & he spoke to my dad
about getting me and my sister married. My sister who is just a year older –
was busy doing her Post Graduation at that very time. He said things like “Why
are you letting your daughter’s pursue higher education, It is becoming
extremely difficult to find grooms for girls these days, with education their
expectations have gone high!”
For a moment after that man walked out from my house, he had
influenced my dad with whatever he said – My dad did speak about marriage after
that. However, after some time he forgot about it.
Education has been of utmost importance for everyone in my
family. My dad constantly supported us when it came to education &
motivated us to set high goals which we would never falter to achieve. Now as I
grow up and have stepped the corporate ladder, there are certain boundaries or
restrictions I have to keep in mind & follow.
When I speak about going to another city for a meeting my
dad is very hesitant & disapproves for the same. When I talk about going to
another country he once more disapproves. It is not because he doesn’t want me
to grow and be successful; it is because he is overly protective because “I AM
A GIRL”
The only thing which really upsets me is - My brother can go
abroad for further studies, He can carve a career out for himself abroad, He is
allowed to go on trips to other cities or for that matter other countries &
while he can do all of the above mentioned things “I CAN’T” do the same. Not
because I don’t have the competence but because the society will not like it
& will scoff at us.
Why does the society talk about marriage as soon as we
finish our education & plan to work? Why can a boy think about his career
but a girl can’t? Why such Double Standards?
I have least interest in the society; I don’t even care what
they think about me. All I want to do is to live my LIFE my way. I’m sure there
are many girls like me who feel the same, & who face similar issues daily. Every
so often I feel like a bird whose wings have been cut off & can’t fly.
When will the society learn to mind their own business &
treat us “girls” equally? For how long will we have to curb our desires &
do things according to the society? Only if dad knew & didn’t bother about what
the society thinks but how it feels “On Being a Girl”…..
Well , You Have Blogged Fabulously On Your Perception Of Being A Girl . Its Absolutely True , How Your Life Has Been Till Now , It Has Happened And Rather Happening Currently With Many Girls .
ReplyDeleteTo Comment On 9th Paragraph , Where You Expressed Your Ambitions Of Going Abroad Or Other City But Due To Overly Protective Nature Of Your Dear Father , You Coudn`t FulFill It . I Would Rather Say That No Wonder He Is Protective Of You As You Being A Daughter , A Girl But Somewhere He Is Reluctant Due To The Lack of Confidence Or The Better Word Be Fear . To Elucidate Further , Fear Of How You Will Face The Obstacles , Your Life If You Go Abroad . He Lacks The Confidence In You . Could Be Because You Are More Pampered And Thus He Is Protective , Would Be Wrong To Say Overly Protective As Every Girl Is Father`s Princess , So Father Need To Express In That Manner And Given The Circumstances Which Are Currently Now And Bad Things Happening , He Is Bound To Be Worried. He Doesnt Care About Society , If He Would Have Than He Won`t Have Forgotten Regarding Marriage .Certainly He Acknowledges The Modern Culture To Some Extent And As He Has Faith In You He Has Given Liberty . Which Is Commendable And You Know It Very Well Which Is Good .That Shows Your Matured But Not To Extent So As To Build The Confidence In Your Father That He Will Allow You To Go Abroad Or Other City . Its Obvious All 5 Fingers On Hand Are Not Equal So Similarly You Won`t Get Everything As Per Your Wish . Somewhere You Need To Compromise In Your Life And Particularly " On Being A Girl " . As Far As Society Is Concerned , They Have Their Reasons To Act Or React . It Will Again Vary A Lot As Per The Urban Society And Rural Society . Yes In This Modern Era , One Must Not Poke Into Other`s Life And Should Focus On Their Own Life , But In India , The Kind Of Culture We Or Our Ancestors Have Been Born & Brought Up , I Feel Its Difficult To Change The Mind Set . It Has Not Happened Till Now , So Won`t Happen In Future Also . Certain Negative People In Society Will Continue To Bring Hurdles , Talk NonSense And Try To Feed Negative Thoughts In Our Family Members But Its All Upto Us How We Face And React To Them Strongly . You Have Mentioned It That Till Now You Didnt Bogged Down , So Many Girls Are Doing And Thats Why So Many Girls Today Have Climbed The Corporate Ladder , Achieved Highest Credentials , Grabbed Top Management Position And At The Same Time Balancing Personal Lives . Which Is Very Proud Thing For Us All Indians .
So Let Society Do Their Job And Let Girl Do Hers ..After All The Truth And Positive MindSet Will Always Win .
U R Right Wafa.
ReplyDeletem dam agree with you.
If u want 2 fly u can. After All..................
After All
Panchi nadiya pawan ke jhoke koi sarhad na inhe roke sarhad insaano ke liye hai socho tumne aur maine kya paayaa insaa hoke???????????//
Thanks Rohan for your feedback :) and yes i don't think I am less fortunate and i know my father has reasons behind telling me to do things or for not doing them and i totally respect his views.
ReplyDeleteThe society will talk, they always do and will keep doing so :) All we can do is Ignore
Hey wafa just stumbled across your blog.. and I must admit that you have written down entries on very sane topic..some of them are really too good. I would just like to comment here an opinion of mine...I think you are right in picking up this topic... "I can't do something or rather have issues doing something -- only cuz I am a girl" which is a complete BS in my opinion.. there are so many factors influencing everyone, sadly which includes our family as well. The society is a hypothetical term in my belief. People always talk cuz they got nothing better to do..sadly as I said before this influences our parents in the process and ruins our plans/decisions which we had already taken after a much provoked self conscience and self belief. In the end its all toughy toughy choice to make and most of us end up being confused. I have a sister and hopefully my family is supportive of her decision to a PHD from a university in US. The logic is same here, If I can go out and make a career for myself..why should my sister be any different. But yeah as for your topic's sake. Its tough!!
ReplyDeleteAbdullah
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